Not Holding Steady

The last time I changed my ticker was in January.  I just now updated it with my last offical weigh in, which was in March. I went up 4 lbs.  Damn.

The cousin-roommate thing is working pretty well.  I'm not eating as much crap at night as I was before she moved in, but I haven't stuck more than a few days in a row with good eating throughout the entire day.

Passover is next week, but we're doing it a night early, on Sunday.  A lot of cooking and food. And now Dad expects me at his girlfriend's house on Monday night too.  Dinner was at his house last night, and it just about killed me seeing her in my mother's seat, at my mother's table, serving food from my mother's dishes, as if it was her home.  It's not her, per se, that I have the problem with.  It's the situation.  Dad promised me a year ago that she wouldn't be doing that kind of thing.  How quickly his promises are not being kept. He also said a year ago that they would never move in together.  That's another promise that's being broken. He's moving in with her before November.  The only good thing that's come of this is I am no longer putting my father's opinion before mine when it comes to living my life. It's taken me 41 years, but I guess I had to learn sometime.  It's not easy, though, deciding not to be Daddy's little girl anymore.  It makes me a little angry, too.  I think the night got off to a bad start for me when I heard the girlfriend telling Dad's cousins that she knows all the stories about me growing up from Dad.  Fuck that.  That doesn't mean that she knows me.  And I don't appreciate Dad telling personal family stories about me to this person.  It's not her business, good stories or bad.  They are MY memories too.  The more I think about it, the angrier I'm getting, so I better stop.  So on top of all the emotional stuff, I can't get away from the DAMN FOOD!!  I wish I could get back into my zone when I first started this blog.  My first post was almost 2 years ago, on April 22.  To think it's been almost 2 years, and I've been hovering around the 50 lb mark for more than a year now.  At least I'm still within my 10 lb limit...Ugh.

Work is better.  The project from hell is in. I don't have to deal with the same people anymore on a regular basis.  Therefore, the negative energy of others' crap isn't hitting me on a consistent basis anymore, which is good. Now I just have the stressful energy of absorbing more work since my company has decided not to fill a position that was left vacant by a coworker's retirement.  I guess that type of stressful energy is better than the other type of negative energy.

I'm sorry I'm not posting more.  I'm writing a lot at work, and by the time I get home, I'm not heading straight for my computer.  Plus, my computer is in my guest room, where my cousin sleeps.  She's in bed by 8.  It's kind of cramping my ability to do things at night, but like I mentioned above, at least I'm also not sitting and stuffing my face all night, every night anymore.

Is there anyone out there that would be willing to be my check-in/workout email or phone buddy?  I could use some help.