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Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sadness

This is a picture from my 2nd birthday. Times sure have changed.



Below is a picture from last year's "celebration" of my 40th. We did it a week early, and combined it with Hanukkah.

Today is my first birthday without the woman who gave me life. Mom won't be in any of the pictures this year. I'm so sad.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Decisions and Habits and Commitment

Thank you for all the information about the Bodybugg. Katie sent me one of her straps to try, and I received it today. Thank you Katie!!! I'm going to try it with various shirts and see if I think I can deal with it. Then, the strap will be on its way back to Katie.

I've tried numerous pedometers, and invariably they break or just don't work. I'm now leaning towards getting the BB V3. I would have liked to get the SP instead, but like
Teresa, I've seen the bad reviews. I'm considering waiting until after Xmas to purchase one, just to see if the price will come down.

Either way, I'll make a decision by the end of the year.

Speaking of decisions, what is a decision?
Business Dictionary defines decisions as, "Choice made between alternative courses of action in a situation of uncertainty. Although too much uncertainty is undesirable, manageable uncertainty provides the freedom to make creative decisions." Dictionary.com provides:
1. the act or process of deciding; determination, as of a question or doubt, by making a judgment: They must make a decision between these two contestants.
2. the act of or need for making up one's mind: This is a difficult decision.
3. something that is decided; resolution: He made a poor decision.
4. a judgment, as one formally pronounced by a court.
5. the quality of being decided; firmness: He spoke with decision.

No where does it say that one has to stick to the decision - and that's what I have the most trouble with! I have not weighed in at center in almost a month because I've been ashamed of not maintaining (much less, losing more) my weight loss. I think I've gained at least five pounds back. Every day, several times a day, I make decisions to do the right thing - eat something healthy as opposed to something that won't benefit me; not eat at all; exercise at least 15 minutes; not eat chocolate; stop eating so much chocolate! You get the idea. However, I don't stick to the decisions. I don't honor the commitments I make to myself.

I remember reading somewhere that if you do something seven days in a row, it will become a habit. I decided last night that today I would exercise - I would walk at least 15 minutes in the morning before work. That meant that I had to get up early to do it. Ha!! I asked a friend of mine to call me in the morning. She gets up early every day, so if she remembered to call me, I promised myself (decided to make a commitment) that I would walk. She called, and I thanked her. Then I rolled over and almost went back to sleep. Then it occurred to me that if she was willing to help me, I should be willing to be helped. So I got up, put on my clothes and sneakers, grabbed a jacket, and walked thirty minutes!! I was so proud of myself.

I also promised myself that when I went to Longhorn for lunch today with my team, that I would order a pork chop and steamed broccoli. I did not make a decision about the bread. I kept my promise - I ordered the pork chop and the steamed broccoli. Then, I also ordered the new mac & cheese with bacon side dish. Damn it!!! Where did my commitment go? I also had 2 small pieces of bread with butter. When the mac & cheese came, I thought that there was no way I could possibly eat all of it. I was wrong...it was damn good. But honestly, not worth the mental demolition I'm now subjecting myself to.

And, it gets worse. Today was a team member's birthday. As was last Monday and next Sunday (mine is next Sunday). The lunch today was to celebrate all three birthdays. I got the team to agree, starting with this round of birthdays, to instead do a quarterly team lunch. It will save money, and then we won't eat out three weeks in a row. This is especially good in December when we also have all the holiday lunches, potlucks, and gift baskets around the office. The only compromise we made was that we would each get our own cake. Hence, my 2 pm downfall. I wish I never learned that I like pumpkin, because if I didn't know that, it would have been extremely easy to not try the small slice of the pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese frosting. Nothing is ever easy, and I didn't refuse the cake. I did, however, split my slice in half with one of my coworkers. Still, I ate things that I knew were not good for me, and I am physically paying for it. I undid the benefit I achieved walking this morning, and I'm sluggish, too.

When I came home from work, an hour later than usual (which is becoming the norm), I was so hungry. I had planned on having soup. Did I stick to my decision? NO! Instead, I grazed in the fridge. I'm not happy with myself.

My friend is going to call me tomorrow morning. I promised HER and ME that if it isn't freezing outside, I will go walking again. For those of you up north, that must sound funny to you. However, being very cold in Florida is unusual. It will be approximately 36 degrees at 7 a.m. I don't think I have the right clothes for walking outside in that kind of cold. If I find it to be too cold, I will turn around, come home, and put on Leslie Sansone on the On Demand Exercise TV. Either way, I will walk!!

Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm sure I can be successful. I have no planned temptations, and my lunch is packed for tomorrow.

I know I won't be down 60 lbs by my birthday, but I will make it seven days, and I will create new habits!

By the way, I noticed that I now have 53 followers. Thank you for your interest!