Momentum

I went to the clinic today to weigh in. I've been pleasantly surprised, or rather...relieved, that the scale has seen fit to start moving in the right direction. Note the ticker...just 0.3 away from my 50 lbs, and 2.3 away from my best loss of 52 lbs. I know I can get there. I feel like the drive, energy, and focus are starting to come back.

I was moving along OK but last week I kind of stopped going regularly, if you know what I mean. Tuesday night at 2 a.m., I got so sick...it woke me out of a dead sleep. The throne and I enjoyed some quality time together, along with Ms. Bucket from 2 to 5 a.m., and again at 8 a.m. I didn't get into the office until 1 pm. Yeah. I lost 3 lbs that night, and I've only gained back .5 since. So, although I don't prefer that type of weight loss, I guess it needed to happen.

Seeing that kind of drop on my scale helped me not eat crap even though I was very hungry. Today I ate a little bit more of a dinner than I expected, but I'm still well under 1500 calories. I'm not sure exactly how much though because I got some tofu items from Whole Foods and they don't publish the calories at the deli. I had promised myself that I would just go in for some jicima, cheese, and crackers. I walked out with that as well as the hot tofu. I told myself not to go over to that side of the store, but I was so hungry at that point that I gave in. However, I ate a little bit of it in the cafe and 3 hours later I ate the rest of it. I was perfect for breakfast, lunch, and my snack, and I haven't stuffed my face tonight while watching TV.

Tomorrow will be a little difficult - my Dad's birthday is tomorrow. We're celebrating his as well as my sister's (which was last Monday) at a restaurant. I've already scoped out the salads, and I think I'll do OK. I'm beginning to enjoy vinegar on my salads again. I've decided that it's tasty and NOT heavy, and I don't like feeling like I've got a liquid rock in my stomach (if there is such a thing) from heavy dressing. A challenge will be any bread they have on the table - I'm hoping to put it at the other end of the table. The biggest challenge will be the Carvel cake my nephew picked out. I'll be damned if he didn't pick Fudgie the Whale! This was the child that hated chocolate. I thought perhaps he was switched at birth. I love chocolate. I love chocolate ice cream, but only the really rich stuff. I love the Carvel crunchies. I haven't had them in a very long time. I'm going to have a sliver of the cake - I like Carvel ice cream, but I don't love it. What I really want are the crunchies. I think a thin slice will suffice. I've never been a big ice cream eater even though I love the rich stuff, so I'm not too worried about it. I've seen ranges of 230-290 for a piece of the cake. I'm going to pre-estimate 350 calories but I'm considering bringing my food scale to my sister's to weigh it before I eat it and then do some math. Either way, I'm prepared.

My next step is to get stepping again. I'm really beginning to feel the motivation coming back.

Today, when I saw that the scale was still at a good point, I tried my straight-cut jeans, and they were comfortable! They haven't been in a while, so although they were the same size as my other jeans, I put them away. Today, I wore them to work, and I looked good. Yesterday, I tried on a shirt I bought a while ago, but was concerned that it was just a smidge too tight. It might still be a smidge too tight, but it's a smaller smidge...if that makes any sense!

Anyway, I feel like I'm getting my mojo back. Thank goodness.

The only dark part of this is it's the first round of family August birthdays without Mom. Mom, Dad's and my sister's are all within 10 days of each other. It just feels wrong without her. But what's the alternative, right? She's not coming back. All I can do now is honor her, and one of the best ways I can do so is to get myself healthy.